Clarke/Milburn: zero-zero vision

The Labour leadership "contest" slid from the sublime to the ridiculous today. The only MPs with the bottle to openly challenge Gordon Brown so far have been hard-left stalwarts John McDonnell and Michael Meacher - both great guys, but both unlikely to stand a cat in hell's chance of winning a leadership battle since about 1981.

So what do you do in response to this vaccuum if you are a washed-up has-been Blairite like Charles Clarke or Alan Milburn?

Easy: you launch the most lame-ass political website in UK history. Zero-zero vision has a picture of a woman with binoculars, presumably scanning the landscape for the Labour party's only Milburn supporter (the man himself?)

This site is so devoid of political content it makes Progress look like Compass. Under the banner 'Mission statement for the zero-zero vision', we get to read scintillating contributions from such cutting-edge thinkers (ahem) as Frank Field MP:

Last Friday the Birkenhead Labour Party came alive discussing the need for a real debate on the future of the party like no other occasion since we ridded ourselves of the Trots.

Tony Blair's favourite left-wing Iraq war apologist, Ann Clywd MP:

I am sorry that I cannot be at the launch meeting today.

and 1987's greatest moustache, Peter Mandelson:

I welcome the discussion on policies and the drive towards remodernising. The more new ideas and directions we have the better.

Yeah right Mandy, what about... any direction except yours?

There are a few worthwhile posts: a 'Madasafish' made the very reasonable point:

Perhaps in debating policies you might consider debating the key issues in a democracy:
Why are so few voting?
Why do people hold us (politicans) in contempt?
What can we do about it?

Judging by some of the professional politicians comments on this thread I hold little hope of this being published, answered sensibly or acted upon.

And good old Guido Fawkes provides the most honest post:

I welcome this development and hope it provides me with useful information.

Best wishes

Guido

As Fawkes points out on his site, the amusing thing about 0-0 vision is what it doesn't say. If either Milburn or Clarke had even a small piece of intestine between them, they would launch a formal anti-Brown campaign, on the grounds that they think Brown can't appeal to 'swing' voters, he can't win in the south-east, etc. etc. Although I think only a moron or a Tory diehard would believe that the Tories are really going to have a 13% lead at the next election (which recent polls suggest is the current margin), there is enough doubt among Labour MPs about Brown's electability next time round to make a contest viable, given a suitable alternative candidate.

But of course Clarke/Milburn don't have a suitable alternative candidate... They have Fungus the Bogeyman and Bryan Ferry. "MicroBlair", aka David Miliband, is a viable alternative, and I had some faith in him myself a year or so ago; however, since then, he's pissed all over my shoes, figuratively speaking, by developing a "macro-ego", dropping t's from the back of words like Blair, generally trying to sound as right wing and business friendly as possible, and behaving like a pompous twat at every function I've seen him at. Why would MicroBlair want to go in with Clarke and Milburn? It would be like the Arctic Monkeys signing to a record label run by Chris Rea and... Bryan Ferry.

So, DZV (DoubleZeroVision): Zero debate, zero clue, zero fashion sense. Well done guys, for making Gordon Brown seem like the best option.